When I introduce myself and the conversation comes to what I do for work, I usually lie and say accountant.
Nobody except other accountants know what they do, and it's dreadfully boring so accountants don't talk about accountant things
If I feel like being slightly more honest I say I'm an undertaker.
This isn't strictly honest either, but it's closer to what I do.
Legally I'm only permitted to tell my soulmate about the truth of my job, and I won't meet her for another 6 years.
It just isn't easy (or legal) to say that I'm an endbringer.
I have the dubious honor of specializing in planes of existence.
When I'm called onto the job I lead the way for apocalypses to happen.
Luckily I'm not the end, that's usually already set up in place for the plane that's ending. If an end is not ready in place, then I will summon an extraplanar end as needed.
I'm the opening act, the usher, conductor. Grim reaper's accountant, missile launcher, hangman.
I orchestrate the beginning of the end of existence for wherever I'm called. Requirements are incredibly flexible.
The prelude to annihilation could be as simple as turning on the light in a closet of a baker's studio apartment, or as difficult as beating a grandmaster in his last ranked game.
I've had to kill people, grow gardens, write speeches, spread disease, cough at a movie, talk to the trees.
I've become a pop star, thrown away a pop tart, left out a grocery cart, you name something possible, and I've done it to usher in the end of everything
Today I read the wrong book at the wrong time to a group of kindergartners. One of them would grow up to create a destructive device that makes atomic bombs look cute and harmless.
I tell myself that it's fine because the Fates give me the assignments. I'm not strictly the cause, I'm just doing my job.
And that's about as true as the idea that I'm an undertaker. An approximation of the truth, but I know better.
The story will live on in my dreams, I won't hear the end of it for a while.
Goodnight.